A Simple Question
by Luck Laden Lefty
Summary: The question was simple enough. The outcome, not so much


A Simple Question

As soon as he felt the weight of his body crush them, he shrieked. He could feel them slide into his fur, across his skin, over what seemed like every inch of his back. It was disgusting to say the least. He tried desperately to get the crushed mass of bugs and ants strewn across his once clean back off, but to no avail. He tried looking for a stream near by to clean them off, but Shrek lived in a swamp, most of the bodies of water were probably laden with mud or some other unidentifiable gunk or mush; and the only thing that ever came out of Shrek's shower was… well…mud. So, after about thirty minutes of craning his neck and getting his tongue oh so close, and attempting to get them off with his paws, only to get guts and crushed limbs all over them, he remember that his friend Donkey had a reasonably long tongue; and could get the buggers off his back in no time. So he waddled into the house, arms out and legs spread as not to make the mess worse, and proceeded to search for his equine friend.

He found donkey sitting groggily in Shrek's chair; he had most likely just woken up. With a yawn, donkey jumped down off of Shrek's chair groaning as he stretched his stiff muscles. Donkey shook the sleepiness from his eyes, turned; and saw puss standing in the doorway, looking as though he just got caught in a storm.

"Hah, what happened pussy-cat; you lose a fight with a giant nose or something?" Donkey snickered; Puss was beginning to lose his patience. "Ha; ha, very funny," Puss rolled his eyes at Donkey's unwarranted humor; he really wasn't really in the mood. "Actually I need your help with something. Donkey managed to stop snickering long enough to answer Puss' question. "Oh, and what might that be?" Puss turned around and presented Donkey with the mass of bugs, ants, and what appeared to be a butterfly or two, stuck to Puss' back by their gooey, sticky, insides. "Could you get these off me señor?"

If Donkey had any self control before, the instant that he saw the disgusting menagerie of assorted critters embedded in Puss' back fur, it instantly disappeared; and he broke down into a fit of hysterical laughter. Puss on the other hand didn't think his predicament was so funny, he watched Donkey roll around on the ground wheezing from laughter, with a scowl tugging at his lips.

Puss waited about five minutes for Donkey's fit of mirthful laughter to cease, and once he saw that Donkey was done laughing, Puss let out an annoyed sigh and yet again attempted to persuade the quadruped to help him with his little problem. "Are you done?" Puss asked as calmly as he could; as calmly as he could with clenched teeth anyway. Upon hearing Puss' voice, Donkey looked up at the feline who appeared impatient, angry, and sticky; and began a new fight of unbridled laughter.

By this point Puss was done waiting for Donkey to stop his fits of laughter and decided to take matters into his own hands. The first chance he saw, Puss leapt for donkey's crippled form and clamped his shocked muzzle shut with one steady movement of his paw. With another flick of the wrist he had extended one of his menacingly long claws, and threateningly rested the tip against Donkey's neck.

"Done?" Puss asked in a noticeably irked tone. "Mmhmm" Donkey managed to squeak out, clearly terrified at this point. "Good," Puss' then gestured toward his back, "now, about my little problem?" Donkey let out an audible sigh, Puss felt the hot breath bathe his stomach. Donkey then proceeded to shake his muzzle free of his captor's clutches. "Alright, but you better not tell Shrek or Fiona about this, Comprendé?

"Donkey, they've seen you eat bugs before. Heck, we've all seen you eat bugs before."

"I was curious!" Donkey shouted defensively.

"Well be curious again and help me out here!" Puss spat in a demanding tone, crouching down so that he was low enough to the ground for Donkey to have easy access to.

"Alright; alright, no need to get testy." Donkey approached the cat that was now prone on all fours, and stood over him so that his head was near Puss' backside, and his crotch was above Puss' head. He nervously snaked his tongue out from in between his teeth, slowly lowered his head, and gave Puss a tentative lick between the shoulder blades. Puss gasped at the touch that sent a shiver down his spine. But after the initial shock, he found himself leaning into the oh-so tender menstruations of his quadruped friend. And every time Donkey would begin a new assault on the willing subject beneath him, Puss would add his own force and chafe himself against Donkey's tongue the entire way down to his tail, adding even more cat hair to his already hair laden tongue, and he was starting to get a buildup of cat-hair on his tongue so large, that If he kept this up, he'd be the one hacking hair balls. Donkey actually had to stop a few times to remove the cat hair buildup before continuing his oral attack.

Puss was in heaven to say the least. He usually never had the time to properly groom himself. What with Donkey's incessant energy and Shrek's unusual menu options, he was usually either catching his own food, or trying to find some peace and quite **away** from Donkey. But he didn't hate Donkey, quite the contrary. Despite their quite obvious differences, they were actually very good friends. And when they both weren't too busy, they would usually go out to the pub together and be each other's wingman when they would spot a particularly fine piece tail. He found it funny that people who didn't know them and saw them bicker and fight, thought they hated each other. But most of it was the equivalent of a brotherly quarrel or a friendly punch in the shoulder.

Donkey kept up his genial tongue bath for a good 10 minutes before Puss was completely bug free. The only reason he kept going was because he wanted to do something nice for Puss for a change, it was the least he could do for being such a pain in his butt all the time. But Donkey's attention was so trained on Puss' back that unbeknownst to him, Puss was showing exactly how much he was enjoying himself with 3 inches of throbbing, dripping appreciation for his best friend's actions, which was slowly beginning to become more noticeable as the powerful muscles assault on its willing victim continued.

As Donkey kept up the monotonous lashing of Puss with his tongue, a familiar scent began to disturb the other scents of cat hair and dead bugs that seemed to be overpowering his senses for the good part of 15 minutes; and as soon as Donkey perceived exactly what the smell was, he started to mentally panic.

"Okay, maybe I should just stop right now and pretend I never noticed that." Donkey tried to reason as he retracted his tongue back into his maw, leaving his feline friend gazing up at him expectantly.

"Why did you stop Donkey," Puss asked dreamily, eyes lidded, and hindquarters raised high in the air, as typical for cats.

Donkey's mind raced to find a suitable excuse, Puss' countenance changed from that of wanton pleasure, to a quizzical look as he beseeched donkey to continue his ministrations.

"I…uhh," Donkey stammered as Puss waited eagerly to hear Donkey's reason for stopping his show of oral dexterity.

"I…uhh, left the washing machine on," Donkey blurted out as he raced out of the room and as far away from the randy feline as possible, leaving Puss' on all fours feeling confused and dejected; trying to figure out why Donkey had stopped so abruptly. Just then, amidst his confusion, he felt a familiar stiffness in between his hind legs. He bent his head down only to find "little Puss" raring for action.

He can't believe he hadn't felt it before! But in the thick of the most wonderful tongue bath of his life, he found it understandable. Still, he blushed; feeling utterly embarrassed. He figured he had better go find Donkey and straighten this uncomfortable mess out before it lead to their relationship distancing, and he didn't want that in the least. As annoying as he found the Donkey sometimes, they were best friends, and he didn't want to lose that, not over a silly little problem like this anyway.

Puss got up, his erection long gone, dusted himself off and had a good long stretch. He dusted his paws off, before walking to the other side of the room and retrieving his belt. After grabbing his hat from the hat rack beside the bed and placing it tidily on his head; he slipped on his boots by the door and stepped out to go searching for his quadruped companion.


End file.
